Yield everything to God. 

Live to please God alone, and don’t worry about pleasing other people. Let go of everything that holds you back from fulfilling God’s purposes for you, including: unrealistic expectations, negative emotions, and Satan’s lies. Trust God to give you peace in every situation where you set the boundaries He leads you to set.

2012-OCTOBER-13 (My 25th Birthday)

Psalm 118:13-17

13 I was pushed back and about to fall,

but the Lord helped me.

14 The Lord is my strength and my defense;

he has become my salvation.

15 Shouts of joy and victory

resound in the tents of the righteous:

“The Lord’s right hand has done mighty things!

16 The Lord’s right hand is lifted high;

the Lord’s right hand has done mighty things!”

17 I will not die but live,

and will proclaim what the Lord has done.

A Divinely Orchestrated Life

One rainy morning , I was inside Jollibee at Gorordo Cor. General Maxilom Avenue, Cebu City.
I was waiting for my Ate in the Lord, my mentor and my Pastor: Pastora Mitch.

I reserved a table for us near the glass pane.While waiting I looked outside and watched the rain falling like stair rods.

"If it had not been the Lord on my side, I wouldn't be here today", I thought to myself.

..and then I saw a familiar face outside. It was her. I thanked God for keeping her trip safe. She gave me a hug. I was very grateful to her for giving me a portion of her precious time.

We sat down and started eating. I began the conversation and told her how this verse Matthew 7:7 touched my heart. I have heard and have read this verse since childhood but at that unforgettable moment it was as if it's something new to me.
The truth of that verse became so real to me.

Matthew 7:7
A-sk and it will be given to you.
S-eek and you will find.
K-nock and the door will be opened to you.

I claimed for this promise, embraced it and meditated on it. I asked God to set me free from what I thought I wanted. What I thought I wanted was a desire that became I need which kept me in bondage for a long time.

"Pastora, I never thought that I would be able to do this, I could have done this before.
I could have claimed this promise from God in the previous years. I wouldn't have to suffer the consequences of my unwise decisions."

..and she said,
"Faye, Our lives are divinely orchestrated by God.God has determined the time set for you to be able to do this and the exact place where you should do it. He orchestrates the events of your life."

Indeed, she's right.

It's Acts 17:26 which says,"From one man He made every nation of men,
that they should inhabit the whole earth; He determined  the times set for them
and the exact place where they should live."

A Visitation From God

My heart cried today.. On my way home from Guadalupe, I took the 
tri-sikad to the main road and I noticed that the driver was a boy. He's skinny and I thought ..
"Oh Lord ..I hope I'm not that heavy so he won't have a hard time driving.." 
He looks older than his age but I had a feeling that he's not more than 20 years old. I talked to him and our conversation went this way...

Me: "Nag skwela pa ka dong?"
Boy: "O te."
Me: Unsa naman ka nga grade?
Boy: Grade 5.
Me: Unsaon man ganahan nimo nga course kuha-on ig dako?
Boy: Ma tambay ra te oi.
Me: Oi ngano man?
Boy: Tambay raman c Uncle.
Me: Naa diay ka sa imo Uncle nagpuyo?
Boy: O te.
Me: Dili man pasabot nga kung wala maka graduate imo mama, papa or uncle dili pod ka maka graduate.
Boy:---silence---

..I felt a nudge in my heart. I believe it's the Holy Spirit. I decided to double my fare and as I took some coins from my purse I told him..

Me: Kahibaw ka.. walay impossible sa Ginoo. Pag-ampo lang gyud ug sangpit Nya. 

.. As I was about to get out ..I wanted to pray for him but there were a few men tambays around the corner (I have a little men-tambay-phobia) .. so .. I gave the coins..

Boy: Salamat Te.
Me : Ayaw kalimot tawag sa Ginoo ha...
Boy: --looked at me and showed a hesitant smile--

..and I went down and walked across the street...pondered and prayed..

"I haven't asked what his name is but I pray Father.. I thank you because you are a compassionate God..not wanting everybody to perish but to come to repentance for YOU want ALL mankind to be saved. I pray for that boy.. thank you for I am believing that you will not allow the enemy to steal the Word that has been planted in his heart. Thank you for that boy will seek and find YOU..."

-- My heart cried today.. I have been so focused with "the things that needs to be done" and has overlooked the need to pray for the perishing and the lost... I have been so focused on what I don't have and has forgotten to count my blessings...I have forgotten to cherish the essential things in life.. I had a visitation from God tonight. Thank you Abba Father.

1st Timothy 2:3-4 "This is good, and pleases God our Savior, who wants all people to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth."

Pouring Out My Heart To God

The righteous cry, and the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. (Psalm 34:17)

Psalm 56:8 (TLB) David says of God, "You have seen me tossing and turning through the night. You have collected all my tears and preserved them in your bottle! You have recorded every one in your book."

My tears are important to God. 

As I pour out my heart to the Lord, I begin to feel the burdens of my soul roll away.

 

Life Is Not About Me

Life is not being me comfortable and happy and cheerful and pain free.  It is becoming  the woman God has called me to be. Life is not about  me,  It is  about God.

..God Is With Me..

In the midst of unspeakable sorrow God is with me. Even if I don’t feel Him near. HE is there. HE promise to never leave me alone, never losing sight of me or my suffering. He is loving me beyond understanding, holding me up and making a way where it seems to be no way. 

Hebrews 13:5

“I will never fail you.
    I will never abandon you.”

..YOU...

YOU, oh GOD is the sweetest thing

That ever happened in my life..

I was once lost.. 

I was once wilted and lifeless,

Strong and firm on the outside,

But hollow and empty on the inside.

My soul ached ..waiting to be rescued

From the abyss where I was hiding.

And it felt like it's forever..

I thought I was beyond all hope..

But YOU rescued me..

YOU saved me..

YOU lifted me out from the dark pit.

YOU gave me hope.

YOU filled my heart with inexplicable joy.

YOU consumed me with unfathomable peace.

I was found by YOU.

-Sweetly broken: FAYE

It hurts a little too much but GOD comforted me.. - Faye

Setting my heart right before God is the best thing that ever happened in my life. I know that God loves me but It was only a nice, intellectual concept for me. I have never let that sink in my heart but when I decided to really grasp this lovely fact it opens me up to be fully human and fully alive.

I had to let go of a relationship that did not start right with God. It felt like a mini-death, complete with a grieving process. But I had to make a choice. 

A relationship is not just about "you & him" or "you & her". It's all about God being glorified in your relationship. You should not be your boyfriend's first love or the other way around. Your actions must be always pleasing and acceptable to GOD. GOD should always be the first love of your life.

When we truly embrace God’s unconditional love we are forever changed. Nothing looks the same anymore. 

When we are secure in God’s love we are secure in being ourselves. Because we’ve been created and claimed by God Almighty!

..And now I am starting my journey of faith with God.. I decided to take a leap of faith and trust God with all my heart and not lean on my own understanding. 

I had been there.. I was good in "pretending to be happy" but on the inside I was dying..

I once felt like I was a "hollow block". Strong, firm, and rigid on the outside but empty on the inside. And I felt like it was forever. I thought I was beyond all hope. 

..but the Lord rescued me. He stood by me and strengthened me. 

If It had not been for the Lord on my side where would I be..

"I am not what I ought to be. I am not what I want to be. I am not what I hope to be. But still, I am not what I used to be. And by the grace of God, I am what I am."

..And one thing I believe ..When I'm ready for the responsibility of commitment the man preserved by GOD for me will find me.. 

..I believe that GOD has wonderful plans for me and HE will  give me the best if I remain in HIM. GOD IS AWESOME!

What marvelous love the Father has extended to us! Just look at it—we’re called children of God! That’s who we really are. But that’s also why the world doesn’t recognize us or take us seriously, because it has no idea who he is or what he’s up to. But friends, that’s exactly who we are: children of God. And that’s only the beginning. Who knows how we’ll end up! What we know is that when Christ is openly revealed, we’ll see him—and in seeing him, become like him. All of us who look forward to his Coming stay ready, with the glistening purity of Jesus’ life as a model for our own. (1 John 1: 2-3, MSG)

...Fighting the good fight of faith.. (my 1st blog for 2012)

1st Timothy 6:12
"Fight the good fight for the true faith. Hold tightly to the eternal life to which God has called you, which you have confessed so well before many witnesses."

I had been through a rough road for the past year..but God has been faithful because HE has always been there to comfort me and every tear that fell from my eyes Jesus had collected every drop in HIS bottle.

Psalm 56:8
You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.

I am sweetly broken by God until now and HE is changing me everyday. HE'S NOT FINISHED WITH MY YET BUT I AM GLAD I AM NOT WHERE I USED TO BE. I want to be right with God.. I want Him to mold me so I can be the best woman, best friend, best daughter, best sister, best wife that HE wants me to be.

I did a lot of mistakes, hurt a few people, chose unwise decisions and spoke unhealthy words.
To those I have hurt: I'm truly sorry for the things I have done. If you ever find it in your heart to forgive me, you must know, I NEVER meant to hurt you.
To everyone: Thank you for being there to make me laugh, to scold me, to criticize me and to rebuke me. You all made me a better person.
I can't stop thanking God for my parents, my wonderful siblings & my relatives who never ceases to support and love me.

I have a lot to learn. I’m in awe that the older I get I find out just how much I still have left to learn. I am so glad that I get the chance to continue to learn and grow – and I’m trying to grasp that opportunity with both hands. No matter how old we are, we can still be learning. We can still be growing, bettering ourselves and rethinking things.

God isn’t finished with me yet. He’s not finished with you either. There’s a lot in our lives to whittle away, mold, scrape off, throw out, gently prod about, and sift. There’s a lot! Sometimes it’s painful and other times it’s welcome. But either way we can find solace in the fact that He loves us and He has a beautiful plan for us. He’s not out to harm us, He doesn’t intend on neglecting us, and He doesn’t ever shame us. He encourages, guides, sometimes disciplines, and always, always continues to try and get our attention so we can grab hold onto the life He has in mind for us – a fulfilling life.

Part of "fighting the good fight of faith" is going through pain and suffering but you we should refuse to fall back to this default position of introversion and self-focus. Just believe and never, ever give up!


What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?
--teaching the King's kids in church and teaching Korean kids offline.

What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
--Attend Sunday School Teacher Seminars and Workshops
--more family bonding

What date/s from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
--March to May---------- I was able to comply 3 IV insertions, 2 Blood Transfusions, 3 IV push at VSMMC (Unfortunately, I was not able to pass the requirements on time.)
--February 16------------- Single's Night (in the church)
--March 26---------------- Hannah's Graduation
--August------------------- Hannah passed the Nursing Licensure Examination
--August to September---- King's Kids Activities and Fun Sunday
--October------------------ My 24th birthday
--November--------------- Paul's birthday
--December--------------- King's Kids Christmas Productions
                    --------------- Volunteer's Christmas Party (in the church)
                    --------------- King's Kids Teachers Christmas Party
                    --------------- E-Lamp Company Christmas Party
                    --------------- Christmas Eve at Aunty Gema's house
                    --------------- New Year's Eve in our house

What was your biggest achievement of the year?
--to be a King's Kids Teacher

What was your biggest failure?
--none so far..thank God!

What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
--I turned 24. (^_^) I celebrated my birthday with my siblings.

How did you spend your summer?
--I spent it in Cebu; working.

How would you rate this year?
--Definitely unforgettable! If it had not been the Lord who was always on my side and will always be on my side.. I would be nothing. There were times that I felt that God has pulled the rug out from under me but  the but good thing was HIS promises (in the bible) constantly emphasizes that HE takes the long view in looking after our welfare. This means that at times he will allow us to be disappointed in the short run for the sake of long-run benefits. We should remind ourselves that God has the best in mind for us, and that he may see what we view as a setback quite differently. It’s important, too, to pray for patience and the fullest measure of wisdom God is willing to give us.

God has always been faithful, 
is faithful and will always be faithful forever.

..What I Have Learned From the Kids..

What I learned from the kids:

We all learn something from children and sometimes what we learn can change our lives forever. 

It’s the simple things that count. They might just want to play toy cars, hide and seek, or throw a ball around or do something funny and that can be just as important, if not more important, as the expensive clothes, costly toys and gadgets. 

Nothing is sweeter than a spontaneous “I love you” from them.

They unceasingly say "I love you" and give you warm hugs and sweet kisses. They love unconditionally.

The best teachers of patience are children.

Making friends is the easiest thing in the world

They can find a friend easily. 

They don't reject anybody, unless the person is really annoying and/or boring. 

They don’t fake it.

When they want something, they really want something. If they don't get it, they get upset and cry. 

When they are happy they can laugh for half an hour continuously. When they are upset, they're really upset.

They don't fake it. 

They endlessly play.

-Oh my.. I really like this part. We like to play "tickle-tickle". We just love it. We love to burst into laughter. 

They have the capacity to play. I love their stamina. 

Learning is better is much, much better than anything else. They love to learn new things. 

They're embracing totally every new experience and they're silently learning. 

They integrate every new experience in their lives.

Often times, we think we are the teachers, but just as I discovered, we are indeed the learners. 

Mark 10:13-16

“People were bringing little children to Jesus to have him touch them, but the disciples rebuked them. When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” And he took the children in his arms, put his hands on them and 

blessed them.”

..Making It as a New Mom..

 I don't know what it is like to have just had a new born son or daughter. It must be defiantly an amazing feeling of hold the baby for the first time, and choosing name and things like that. 

I visited my friend today at the hospital where she has been confined. I was so eager to cuddle her baby and in fact I was a little bit sad when I got there this morning and found out that the baby was still in the Nursery room. I was more than excited to cuddle her baby. I waited until the "showing time" for the babies in the Nursery room. As much as I wanted to see her baby I couldn't do anything because it's one of the hospital's rules. They have schedules for loved-ones to look at their babies in the room. The baby will only be brought to the mother until she's done taking her prescribed medications after her CS operation. So I waited until 5pm to see the baby because I was late for the 11 AM to 12 Noon schedule. 

There she was lying on her bed when I came. I sat on a chair beside her bed. She was having her lunch in a soft diet.  My friend and I chatted. I was so eager to listen about her first delivery experience. As much as I wanted to share to you about her wonderful and unforgettable experience however I felt the need to keep it to myself and respect her privacy. Think of it this way: You have been carrying this fetus for nine months. It now weighs about six pounds or more, and your body needs to provide an opening large enough for this baby to slide through when the time comes for its permanent eviction. When your baby is ready to be born, your body gets to work, and it is so well designed for the task that you can set your self and ego aside and just let your body take over. What an awesome experience.

I don't have a wrist watch so I kept on looking at my mobile to check the time. The waiting felt like eternity. When the exact time came, I hurriedly went to the Nursery room. There he was.. my friend's handsome baby. He was so cute, so innocent and so dainty. I wanted to cuddle him and smell the sweet scent of a newborn baby. 

They say that it’s difficult to describe the emotions mothers feel when they hold their tiny bundles joy in their arms. Of course happiness and awe are common feelings, but other emotions often come into play—unexpected feelings that range from confusion to self-doubt to anxiety. This is God's gift. A very wonderful gift whom HE fearfully and wonderfully made. 

Well..well..well.. (^_^)

 ..I'm left here pondering what it's like to be a new MOm?..

 I thank GOd for the baby's life.. GOd created him..

Psalm 139: 13-16

13 For you created my inmost being; 

you knit me together in my mother’s womb. 

14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; 

your works are wonderful, 

I know that full well. 

15 My frame was not hidden from you 

when I was made in the secret place, 

when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. 

16 Your eyes saw my unformed body; 

all the days ordained for me were written in your book 

before one of them came to be. 

God's mercy is new every morning. (Lamentations 3:22,23 KJV.)

Some nights I crawl into bed convinced I must have used up all of God’s mercy that day.

I started working as a Nurse Preceptee in Vicente Gullas Memorial Medical Hospital since October 22, 2010 and at the same time I work in E-lamp as an online English Tutor to Koreans.

"Don't you get tired? That must be really stressful", they said.

I always thank God for His grace in my life. His grace is more than enough. He renews my strength everyday. There are days when I wake up in a "so-so mood" but I thank GOD because His mercy is new every morning. He is a merciful and gracious God. I wake up every morning and greet each new day knowing that His mercies are new everyday.

“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” – Lamentations 3:22-23

My Treasures

I am not a writer nor a member of a school paper. But I have always loved writing since the day I learned how to write. I remembered when I wrote “Lola maldita” (Grandma Bad) at one corner of grandfather’s house. Lola is not bad. She's just too stern & forbidding. But I was just 7 years old back then. Walls, doors, papers and anything bare were the empty spaces where I could express what I was feeling. I didn’t mind if somebody might read it. I made my first love letter when I was in grade one. I missed my mother so much. She worked in Hong Kong at that time. In my first letter, I wrote as short as 3 sentences: Dear Mama Imee, I miss you. I love you mama. Take care always. Love, Yeyi.

Papers and a pen were only my escape. I have no one to share my heart. I chose to keep everything in my heart. But sometimes, I couldn't bear it anymore. It’s too heavy to carry so I wrote it down. But fear hindered me. I’m scared that somebody might or would read it. Not like when I was seven. Now I began to care. I’m afraid they’ll know. So I stopped writing.

But I didn’t stop making letters for Mom. I didn’t stop sending her Birthday cards, Christmas cards and Valentine’s Day cards. I have always loved writing letters for her. In my letters, I mentioned the bullies in school who always made fun of me because I was fat. I always told her how I missed her so much and how I longed for her warm embraces. How my heart ached to have her at my side. How I always looked forward on the day of her arrival. I have always waited for the day when she comes home. I wrote letters to Mom for almost seven years. I didn’t stop writing letters & sending cards for her until I learned how to send an e-mail.

But my heart always told my soul to write. So I became like Bridget Jones (Bridget Jones’ Diaries). I had my first diary when I was in grade four. On my school-age years, my diaries were the only safe places to write about the disagreement I had with my best friend, about how I was badly hurt when I didn’t make it to the number one during the 2nd grading, how I sucked in math, how angry I was when my classmate lied to me and made me believed that she had a dwarf friend in their house only to find out later that it was just her imagination, how I longed for a sailor moon doll and how I always studied hard to be the Valedictorian in class so that when Mama comes home on my Graduation day she would be proud of me and will realize that her hard works and sacrifices were not in vain.

When I reached high school, I began writing letters again. I wrote to my Aunts, Grandaunts & friends. Fortunate enough because I had a classmate named Sheris Mae who responded my letters. I also had letters from Vienna Althea Duran, Algene Mae Rica & Jamie Rose Olofernes, Jaramie Villanueva, Caypeeline Casas, Tyler Flores and from other friends who gave me cards with short but meaningful messages for me in it. In fact I still had their letters in my Little Letter Box. I had also letters and cards from Tita Amy, Lola Madre, my cousins Ate Karen, Stephanie Ann & Ate Heide and from a roommate named Ching-Ching. My Papa, Paul & Hannah also gave cards to me. My Uncle Bob gave me a birthday card on my 5th birthday. I have lots of letters and cards from my Mama, Lola Espec & Anthony. I burned the love letters I received from my first boyfriend & then I broke up with him. I was just so furious that time. I blamed him because since we had been together I was dropped to top 8 from top 4 in our class. Please, Don’t get me wrong. I was just 14 then.

Mama's letters for me were full of love & care. She was far but when I hold her letters, I could feel her as if she's sitting beside me. Lola Espec and Tita Amy's letters were full of prayers and encouragements. But Jesus' love letter for me which is the Bible is the best. These letters are my treasures. Even the richest king in the world can't compare his riches with what I have: my Letters

Writing gives me freedom. It eases my almost suffocated heart. Letters & cards made for me give colors in my life. They're my treasures.