I am not a writer nor a member of a school paper. But I have always loved writing since the day I learned how to write. I remembered when I wrote “Lola maldita” (Grandma Bad) at one corner of grandfather’s house. Lola is not bad. She's just too stern & forbidding. But I was just 7 years old back then. Walls, doors, papers and anything bare were the empty spaces where I could express what I was feeling. I didn’t mind if somebody might read it. I made my first love letter when I was in grade one. I missed my mother so much. She worked in Hong Kong at that time. In my first letter, I wrote as short as 3 sentences: Dear Mama Imee, I miss you. I love you mama. Take care always. Love, Yeyi.
Papers and a pen were only my escape. I have no one to share my heart. I chose to keep everything in my heart. But sometimes, I couldn't bear it anymore. It’s too heavy to carry so I wrote it down. But fear hindered me. I’m scared that somebody might or would read it. Not like when I was seven. Now I began to care. I’m afraid they’ll know. So I stopped writing.
But I didn’t stop making letters for Mom. I didn’t stop sending her Birthday cards, Christmas cards and Valentine’s Day cards. I have always loved writing letters for her. In my letters, I mentioned the bullies in school who always made fun of me because I was fat. I always told her how I missed her so much and how I longed for her warm embraces. How my heart ached to have her at my side. How I always looked forward on the day of her arrival. I have always waited for the day when she comes home. I wrote letters to Mom for almost seven years. I didn’t stop writing letters & sending cards for her until I learned how to send an e-mail.
But my heart always told my soul to write. So I became like Bridget Jones (Bridget Jones’ Diaries). I had my first diary when I was in grade four. On my school-age years, my diaries were the only safe places to write about the disagreement I had with my best friend, about how I was badly hurt when I didn’t make it to the number one during the 2nd grading, how I sucked in math, how angry I was when my classmate lied to me and made me believed that she had a dwarf friend in their house only to find out later that it was just her imagination, how I longed for a sailor moon doll and how I always studied hard to be the Valedictorian in class so that when Mama comes home on my Graduation day she would be proud of me and will realize that her hard works and sacrifices were not in vain.
When I reached high school, I began writing letters again. I wrote to my Aunts, Grandaunts & friends. Fortunate enough because I had a classmate named Sheris Mae who responded my letters. I also had letters from Vienna Althea Duran, Algene Mae Rica & Jamie Rose Olofernes, Jaramie Villanueva, Caypeeline Casas, Tyler Flores and from other friends who gave me cards with short but meaningful messages for me in it. In fact I still had their letters in my Little Letter Box. I had also letters and cards from Tita Amy, Lola Madre, my cousins Ate Karen, Stephanie Ann & Ate Heide and from a roommate named Ching-Ching. My Papa, Paul & Hannah also gave cards to me. My Uncle Bob gave me a birthday card on my 5th birthday. I have lots of letters and cards from my Mama, Lola Espec & Anthony. I burned the love letters I received from my first boyfriend & then I broke up with him. I was just so furious that time. I blamed him because since we had been together I was dropped to top 8 from top 4 in our class. Please, Don’t get me wrong. I was just 14 then.
Mama's letters for me were full of love & care. She was far but when I hold her letters, I could feel her as if she's sitting beside me. Lola Espec and Tita Amy's letters were full of prayers and encouragements. But Jesus' love letter for me which is the Bible is the best. These letters are my treasures. Even the richest king in the world can't compare his riches with what I have: my Letters
Writing gives me freedom. It eases my almost suffocated heart. Letters & cards made for me give colors in my life. They're my treasures.
